


... and a box of condoms

by exuberant_imperfection, kate882



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: M/M, Takao and Kise are shit friends, but also . . ., happy birthday Kuroko, happy birthday tetsucchi, or should i say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 14:04:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5873269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exuberant_imperfection/pseuds/exuberant_imperfection, https://archiveofourown.org/users/kate882/pseuds/kate882
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kise and Takao follow Kuroko and Aomine around as part of Kuroko's birthday present.</p>
            </blockquote>





	... and a box of condoms

“Aomine-kun, why are they following us?” Kuroko quietly asked Aomine to keep Takao and Kise from hearing him. 

“Hell if I know,” Aomine muttered, glancing over his shoulder at them briefly. “It’s creepy as fuck, though. Especially since it’s those two.”

“What do you think they’re whispering about?” Kise asked, loud enough for the two to hear.

“Probably something like…” Takao began, and then affected a smooth monotone voice as he continued, “Aomine-kun, you are looking especially handsome today.”

Kise caught on very quickly and put a hand to his heart. “Why . . . Tetsucchi . . . Thank you. I mean, I knew that ‘cause I’m kind of an arrogant dick, but thank you. You’re hot even without boobs,” he declared.

Takao copied his posture and batted his eyelashes. “Aww, Aomine-kun, you’re the sweetest arrogant dick I’ve ever met.”

“I don’t like this,” Kuroko said flatly.

“Me neither,” Aomine agreed, his eye twitching in irritation.

“Tetsucchi, I think I love you. In a  _ platonic _ ”—Kise winked at Takao—“way, of course.”

“A-Aomine-kun,” Takao said looking up at Kise with wide eyes. “I… also have strong feelings towards you… platonically, of course.”

“Wanna platonically make out?” Kise asked.

“Do you think you can outrun them while I use misdirection to get away?” Kuroko asked Aomine.

“I’d rather punch them in their stupid smug faces until they shut up,” Aomine grumbled, tossing a glare back at Kise and Takao.

“Violence is bad, Aomine-kun,” Kuroko said, but it sounded half-hearted as he winced when Kise and Takao did start making out with exaggerated moans of Aomine and Kuroko’s name.

Aomine may have made an attempt at ignoring them and walking away, but they had just reached the basketball court they'd been headed towards, and instead of quitting their stupid act, Kise and Takao settled down on the bench by the court to continue. “Alright, you guys wanna just get a room or something instead of doing this stupid shit here?” Aomine snapped, turning to glare at them again.

Takao pulled back from Kise for a moment, fighting back a shit-eating grin. “A-Aomine-kun, perhaps we shouldn't be doing this in public. People will find out about our platonic love.”

“Tetsucchi, my platonic love,  _ everyone  _ knows,” Kise answered.

“Oh…” Takao said with a considering hum.  “Do we really make it that obvious how deeply and truly in love with each other we are? ...Platonically, of course.”

“So obvious, that our friends make fun of it right in front of us,” Kise said solemnly.

“Well, I suppose that means we can continue our platonic makeout, then…” Takao said, leaning in again.

“Alright, al _ right _ , enough already! Fine, I like Tetsu! Are you happy now?” Aomine exclaimed, feeling his face heat up and throwing the basketball at Kise and Takao as hard as he could. “Now play some basketball or get the hell outta here!”

Takao caught the basketball and began cackling, and a bright grin split across Kise’s face. “Happy birthday, Kurokocchi! I got you a boyfriend!”

“I- Kise-kun, what?”

“Why don’t you explain, Aho-chan?” Takao called, lobbing the ball back at him.

“Why don’t you  _ fuck off _ already?” Aomine snapped, trying to avoid looking at Tetsu and scowling at their asshole friends instead.

“Was that a confession, Aomine-kun?” Kuroko tilted his head. “If so, I accept.”

Aomine spun around immediately to face him again, heart racing and mouth agape. “Uhh… what?”

“I accept,” Kuroko repeated clearly.

“You mean, uh… you mean, you also—you, um… you do?” Aomine stuttered nervously, but with a hopeful grin.

Kuroko offered a small smile. “Yes.” The smile turned into a frown when Kise wolf-whistled at them.

Aomine turned a scowl onto them again. “ _ Why are you still here??? _ ”

Takao was laughing again as he rummaged in his bag for something. “Wait, wait, I still gotta give Tet-chan  _ my  _ present!”

“You really don’t have to, Takao-kun,” Kuroko tried.

“It’s for your own good, really,” Takao insisted with a wink and a grin as he tossed a box over to Kuroko. “Happy birthday!!!”

Kuroko’s cheeks took on a pink tint as he examined the box and realized what it was.

Aomine noticed the blush first. “What is it?” he asked, eyes narrowed suspiciously as he walked over for a better view.

“...Aaaaand that’s our cue, Ryou-chan!” Takao said, getting up, grabbing Kise’s hand, and beginning to run off.

When Aomine realized that Takao’s gift to Tetsu was a box of condoms, his face also grew red. “...Alright, get back here, assholes, I need to kick your asses before you leave!” he shouted, and began to chase them.

“Well, I can’t say I like their method, but Aomine-kun’s confession was a nice present,” Kuroko mused aloud as he watched them run.


End file.
